5 Simple Ways To Become a Facebook Idiot

How to not Suck At Facebook

Facebook is truly both a blessing and a curse! You can use it to connect with thousands of people, to promote yourself or your company, to sell products, to find new ways to interact with friends, customers – whoever and whatever you want. And this wonderful usability is also Facebook’s problem. It is so easy to communicate, and so tempting to use it all the time, that some people simply forget that even a single post can have huge impact on their professional life and make them look like a Facebook idiot.

If you have some people you work with on your friends list (sometimes even your boss or your subordinates), you should be a little more careful with Facebook. Otherwise, the repercussions can be much graver than you think. Here are 5 simple things that can make your co-workers lose respect for you or that may even cost you the job.

How to not  Suck At Facebook?

Simplest way: show everyone that you are a Facebook idiot:

Surely, you may think it’s easier said than done. You couldn’t be more wrong. Don’t believe me? Look at this:

Facebook Idiot

Still not convinced? What will you say about this:

Suck at Facebook
Posting this type of stuff on your Facebook page is extremely easy. It is almost like a temptation some people just can’t resist. It even makes you wonder: have any of these geniuses ever thought of just using other simple ways to express their dumbness? Maybe writing “I’m dumb and ignorant – and PROUD of it”?

Is it too much to ask of people to actually say this stuff out loud to themselves from time to time? This would surely help them discover just how ridiculous it sounds. And maybe – just maybe – stop them from making fools out of themselves.

If I can offer you one piece of advice: your lack of knowledge and the inability to tell facts from fiction does NOT mean you are FUNNY! So please – try to hide it for as long as you can. Let your boss find out about your ignorance on his own, don’t just give it to him…

Second way: a picture is worth a thousand words…

If writing stupid, ignorant stuff is not your “thing”, maybe you will try posting a photo of your half-naked, drunk and passed out self after a crazy office party? How about a picture showing you posing in front of a grave? Remember what the Adidas commercials say – impossible is nothing! All you need is your imagination and firm belief that everything you post is funny.

Weed smoking on Facebook
This tactic works best when you are a hard-working person with a lot of work friends (and your boss) on your friends list. After work you turn into a party animal, and you want everybody to know about it. A really nice way to go…

Well, you don’t even have to be a party animal and still make yourself look stupid. There are other ways to do so and let me give an example:

I’m not even sure how to explain to you how ridiculously stupid this is. Post such a photo, go back to your work, and see how long before you lose your job. You know what? Maybe the sooner you post it the better – this way everybody will know who they working with right away…

Third way: Share with your co-workers and superiors that you hate your job.

I know. You hate your job. Most of us do. And I also know your boss is an incompetent prick. We have all been there, but this does not mean you should write it on your wall. Is complaining to REAL friends while having a drink suddenly fell out of fashion? Do you really have to moan about your co-workers and boss through Facebook to feel truly understood?

Next time you have one of those “epic” clashes with your superior (or job colleagues), and want to share your frustration with the world, try sending an e-mail to the creators of Dilbert explaining the whole story. That way you will find out if this moment was really worth writing about, and won’t make yourself look like an idiot.

You hate your JOb

I hate my Boss

Fourth way: Turn your wall into a therapist’s chair

Your wife left you, your boyfriend cheated on you, you want to have sex with a stranger. So many relationship-related things happen to us every day. But do you REALLY need to post it all on your wall? And what is even more terrifying – do you REALLY need to start discussions with your exes? Or blazon to everyone you are finally free and ready to party? Even to your own daughter and all your co-workers?

Facebook Idiot
Again – I know it is easy to argue with your ex on your wall, but have you ever heard about this thing called a “conversation” in REAL LIFE? Try it from time to time. It might reduce the number of unimportant posts on your fb wall…

Fifth: Send social game invitations to your co-workers and subordinates.

Could there be anything more degrading than this? First off all – do not send them during work! You really think your colleagues will enjoy your silly game requests, which means you have the time to send them, while they are ACTUALLY working? And don’t get me started on how stupid is sending them to your boss – or inviting your employers to play when you’re the boss.

Go ahead, piss them by showing how much you’re bored. Make them fully aware than while they get their monthly unimpressive paychecks, you have the nerve to not only earn more, but also work less. Yes. Lose all the respect they had for you in a few quick actions. And don’t even think about explaining yourself by saying that the gaming thing is just a way to show you are a cool boss. You want to be cool? Give your workers a day off!

So there you have it, my guide to not becoming a Facebook idiot. I hope my subtle suggestions will help some of you. And what I really hope is that you didn’t need these suggestions in the first place. I’m keeping my fingers crossed… Also, don’t forget to share this article on Facebook.

Images from: LameBook

This is a guest post by Jack from Fogs, A funny news site. If you would like to write for ShoutMeLoud, Check our guest posting guidelines.

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Article By
Jack Samuelson is a contributing author who writes articles on numerous subjects. He has a wide range of interests, and a soft spot for weird news and funny stories. He has been an insightful observer of the world but always tries to balance his commitment to serious issues concentrating on some less serious, funny news.


COMMENTs ( 7 )

  1. says

    Thanks Guys! I’m really happy you liked my article!
    And you’re right – Facebook can be extremely dangerous when used in the wrong way! When I was looking for material for this article I facepalmed like 10 times a minute reading what people put on Facebook… My forehead started to really hurt after a while :)

  2. Hirak says

    Nice article but I think you do become popular with such idiotics, like they say negative publicity is after all a publicity :)

  3. Vineet Mehra says

    This post really made me laugh out loud

    Awesome.. Now I know what not to do on facebook

  4. prabir says

    Good points but fortunately I don’t involved any of these in FB . FB is a two edge sword. If you keep playing safe it will work for you and if you get trapped in the bells and whistles of FB it will work against you.

  5. Rahul kuntala says

    Wow. This is epic!

    I find myself a FB addict. It’s hard to get over FB addiction so easily. The best way to come out of FB is to: turning off the notifications and scheduling our time.

  6. Ramsha Afaq says

    haha so probably it’s only lamebook. enjoyed reading and realizing I am Facebook smart ;)